* Looking back . . .

It was like a book that I had opened, and now wanted to know much more, but didn’t get to.

It felt like having met an old homie from teenage times. Even your music was familiar in that way, and I loved your laid back ways and down to earth attitude.

I felt the challenge of what i later learned was not connecting the safe-feeling spleen together, but I’m used to being on my own, so i didn’t feel any need for someone to define my spleen with. Instead, I always felt highly active energies with you, and it always felt like it was the pressense of each other causing these exiting energies. I wanted to live these highly exited life energies with that calling to action feeling, with you. …together use these forces of energy for achievements, while learning and growing together along the way.

I met you during my first week on the island, and you showed me around so that I discovered what I had come for. So partly thanks to you, I finally found my home feeling place, and made my home base there, in the beautiful Ibiza of abundant nature with blue skies and warm beaches.

Based on those exited, highly active feeling energies, including the familiar homie feeling things about you, I wanted to share the journey to our dreams with you.

It took a long time to get over you. How dare you, who I never even really think about, show up in my defenceless sleep, and sneak into my dream!?

It’s not even that I don’t want to see you. Once in my heart, always there and I always care. I wouldn’t have any ugly feelings towards you if you appeared. But caring for the careless causes waste and desteuction, so it is good not to see you. That is my awareness each time someone has mentioned you to me, and/or told me that you’d be coming around.

I don’t even know what role you came to play, as the dream is fading fast from memory since I woke up. But now that you’re sort of here with me in spirit, I feel like saying; look at all the opportunity you threw away for nothing but paranoid imaginations. Look at all the time wasted! And now what do you have? Nothing! No beautiful home of your own, no funds to live your dreams with and be secure. Still battling to get ahead. But battling for what really!?, some mainstream meaningless greed of material high-end illusions. …which only have value IF YOU GROW PROFOUNDLY on the journey to them, as that growth is the only factors that you get to take with you out of this physical existence.

But useless paranoid suspicions were all a liar could envision, so that was all what you made of me to yourself, for whom the entire fake life of lies seems more important than really living, more important than connecting and making real bonds in life with anyone. Everything fake, of your own lying, and therfore causing you paranoid imaginations, was more important to you than knowing the sincere one who stood honest before you, loving your company, ready to take on the world with you, and achieve anything and everything of our dreams.

Gradually over time, I learned that you’re a waste of time and energy for anyone, because you cheat any and every friend, lie about everything all the time. …and that even if it’s totally needless to lie, you do it anyway. So you never make real connection bonds with anyone. So that even in a team you remain alone and leave others in betrayal, while it’s as well always yourself you betray, and thereby keep away from the most powerful magic of connection in life.

So it’s not even worth anything at all (for anyone) to be thinking of you. While more than anything I feel rather more pity for you than anything else. Sad to live so overly fake, in this precious opportunity of physical existence, this Life. Sad to lie and cheat so much that you’re not even really living, but just faking it all away, all the way. That is the most wastefully self inflicted of sad and lonely that I have ever witnessed in my globetrotting life.

But more wasteful than anything, would be a great good friend like me, who lives for the togetherness, from which we can overcome anything and achieve everything, if such a person would give all that to someone like you, who betrays any oneness (even the one with himself), and steals even what is given to him.

You’re a human rat. But worst of all you’re so (mainstream indoctrinated) lost, that you think your desteuctive ugliness is something to be proud of.

People like you, are what cause (and add to) the bad in this world. That means of course, that we are to get rid of people like you. ~ and that is the grand abundance of reason, to look at what you’re making of yourself!

If you made of yourself all the good I was seeing in you, then we’d have laid down and taimed the world together by now. That I know.

I guess the lesson for me in meeting you (the only lesson I find with my tendency of scanning every detail, and analysing everything into it’s deep layers), was to know that such happily exited high energies for powerful action exist, in some specific combinations of two individuals, which they naturally can and will reap greatness from, if they are lovingly selfless enough to be a team, merge and be as one.

So thank you for that lesson to knowing, that this magic feeling energies, is the kind of powerful team energies what I want to be living, with my wisdom.

And since you believe that jealousy is produced by love, I wish you real pure love.

Bless you.