Recently someone saw this old photo from my boarding school and said, you went to Harry Potter school!? But I was only there for three years (and so most of my awareness of magic, did not come from there). I went to many different schools.

But who am I? Besides being that weirdo nutcase, who grew up traveling and helplessly turned into a travel addict, and for some years a parasol addict on Ibiza. “That Girl With The Parasol” who no one has seen (on the island) since 2010, when she moved up to that guy Mika, up in some protected nature zone, between San Mateo and st. Ines. ….after which, one year later, she moved with that man to Berlin.

That naive but terrified fool, who had her whole life turned upside down by a car accident, three years earlier, and then lost everything, during a years time from that day, by trusting the wrong people. And so on it went for a very long while, and once the “destruction dominoes” were finished falling, leaving her stranded with nothing, as half a stranger ~ with no one to turn to, feeling rather unwanted in her so-called community, and became one they all gossiped and made stories about, back up in San Joan.

She got totally obsessed with the little personal bamboo parasols, being as if a statement to the haters; making her extra visible, almost impossible not to notice, and gradually got so deep in love with the stunning beauty of this piece of craft, that she learned all about those personal bamboo parasols,
including their history, and made her own design examples, of what she herself wanted such bamboo parasols to look like, and what the styles of them should and could be existing in general; dreaming up the coolest » Sustainable Clever Trend In The Sun «

Finding ways to improve details …….

 

Yeah, I couldn’t just post one or two photos, could I!?
They each have a description as well, and even a name. AND!, there is a whole Twin Concept to go with these creations; these being of the exclusive side in unique designs, and the other being a more mainstream/merchandise side, both of which support each other in multiple different ways.

But before those parasols, before that car accident, I was globetrotting (almost as free as a Saudi Arabian, haha..) ….

….traveling freely as a show-dancer.
It took years of unshakable faith, searching for a way to travel freely. But fueled by something within and all around me, including the surrounding peoples disbelief, in my seemingly impossible quest for my own ideas of a Anthropology study LIVE ~in form of my own idea of a freely-traveling success.
But I took it easy and kept on searching, and had the coolest job of my life along the way, which even got me into a music & theater school, after which I continued searching, but more passively, feeling like I knew it will come about from somewhere, somehow, as long as I want it and most of all believe it, and pay attention.

Eventually it came about in the most surprising and a beautiful way (though I only just realized that now, “100yrs later” looking back);

While walking in the center of Copenhagen, on Rädhuspladsen, I convinced my life-long/childhood friend and so-called little sister (with whom we had our parents dating for a while) to tell me her own innermost dreams n wishes, when she was always listening to me dreaming out loud all the time.

And so I convinced her, to at least tell me (her closest friend in life). I just had to promise not to laugh or judge, and then she told me, ,,I wanna be a business woman, like the one in the Shampoo commercial, who says she follows the time and the progress …while swinging her long blond and beautiful hair with the swing of her walk, as she walks into a conference room where everyone pays respectful attention to her.

I thought that besides being a simple “follow the recipe” type of thing to set as a goal, while also, at the same time, somewhere inside us, we all want to have a position in life, where we are respected and heard. And I could see her doing it like it was nothing at all, just gradually getting exactly into becoming that type of woman without even noticing it. I could see her becoming so arrogant, but in an ignorant way, and to such an extreme that it would make her rule so hard but be so lonely and corrupt in more ways than one.. Within just a second or two, I could see how easy she can get that type of success, and that she was the type who can set herself any goal at any time, and get beyond her own expectations, and then not understanding why everyone doesn’t just do that when it’s so simple.  So I felt that this follow-the-recipe idea, was just too common ~boring, so I continued fishing for something more …somehow more challenging and out into the unknown, kind of crazy or wild, or at least somehow seemingly unrealistic.

The next dream sounded more out-going and even outrageous, slightly crazy and wild at heart. But best of all, it was a seemingly unrealistic goal of a challenge to herself, being who she was. Just instantly as the was telling it I just knew that this would be a real fear-facing process, if she would set it as a goal. For either one of us, this!, by far!, was the most seemingly unrealistic idea of all! I had just turned 20 that summer, when she (turning 19 just 2 months later) said that ever since she saw that music video with Aerosmith, where the singers very own daughter, plays the role of a girl with her best friend. In the video, they go into a half empty bar, where there is a big empty stage that one of them jumps up on, making a joke of a show, pretending to do a strip tease, entertaining her best friend sitting back at the table, while the few people in the bar, all men, start making all different Hollywood style jaw-dropping expressions, while of course giving their undivided attention to the woman (only because she is pretending, that she’s gonna take all her layers of clothes off). …and she, my sis., wants to experience being that woman getting such an attention for such a …easily and cheaply done, instant-manipulation-of-the-male. But I also understood her feeling as a woman, to at least just once in her life feel as if we rule as women in the sexual sense with men.

Generally or so it seems, women are from nature most obsessed with many things that get them all worried and stressed, ~and too often men feel either victimized or otherwise used, or somehow otherwise helplessly hurt/injured or at least disrupted for the day, by the behavior her obsessive causes.

While we can say that, generally or so it seems, men are from nature most obsessed with the female breasts and the rear-view part of her ~and too often women feel either victimized or used, abused, otherwise hurt or at least disrupted for the day, by the behavior this male obsessive causes.

So I felt that in understanding different sides of this matter of a dream, was in seeing the different reasons that different types of people will have to do such a thing, while for her it was just a one time experience wish. So I wanted it to come true for her. And I knew there was nothing to it but having the guts to play~be so full of yourself. (while to a man you are just a horny and desperate girl).

Ass If !? A trait showing which men do not at all connect with woman, do not at all feel what the essence of female actually is. …and empathetic respect gets lost.

I knew that she wasn’t looking so deep or detailed into it, and just wanted to rise above, boost her confidence to feel good. But we all want that for the ones we love, and we share theirs excitements as well as their smile, wit, their love and their tears. And I knew she would never go for it on her own, so I promised I could make this dream come true for her.

My grandMother was renting out rooms in her Vila, since her husband died, to be able to afford staying in her own home. She managed very well doing that, and impressed me with her will and efforts for life, and because of tourists renting her rooms, she made sure to have the little magazine for tourists, named “Copenhagen This Week”, in which I had seen discos bars and seen strip tease clubs on the very last pages. So I felt like I knew exactly what to do. And so I picked up a magazine like that on the way home and where I called all the clubs.

The newest and nicest club of them all, was the only one to return my call, so I booked an appointment with them, and of course I had to go with her.

Moths later I find the key 🍀 by noticing an add that I wouldn’t have noticed if it wasn’t for my sisters stripper dream.

In other words, due to helping another, I found my solution ~ I made the impossible be possible. I had basically discovered that I could just dance in lowlife clubs of lost humans (many of them just temporarily lost) to get all around and everywhere in the world.

Always staying in flats shared with other dancers, which sometimes was nice and fun, and other times fun but dirty like the artist-house Greenhouse Berlin (while hardly anything beats the filth of that artist-house, in my experience).

• Berlin has taught me a few very strong factors about myself; such as,

#1• that I get miserable and horribly depressed in dirty and/or ugly surroundings of poor nature, especially those with long grey and dark winters. ….painfully (as if necessary!?) rediscovering that I require beautiful sunny, blue-skied, warm environments.

#2• that tolerating is much too often actually rather just more self-torturing than being good and non-judging to people.

#3• that I better get more selective with where I allow my kindness to go, as it represents a great part of who I am, which the wrong (the rotten) people, are all drawn to use and abuse. And the results of that on a bigger scale/in the big picture, turns kind people into hurting victims and/or ASSHOLES, who’s only stay-strong mechanism becomes being angry=fearful. ….all in all, turning good influence into a hateful/bad influence.

During my late teens, the angry-on-self feeling, for being too naive-nice, came up in me and eventually caused me to close up and turn really cold.
But it only lasted a few years, till the love of my life, the black guy in the video (playing with my song) Twisted Diamonds on youtube, came and told me to my face, how I was behaving and treating people. I woke up from the spell or so it felt, and I felt so much pain from sadness, of having been mean like my dad was to me. I knew now, that it had nothing to do with love, so i realized my bad spell from it. It takes time to realize and outgrow parents mistakes. And most people never do.

I learned the very best things from Bessie Ulla Herdis Nyholm, my loving grandMother. She was my best friend, my sister, my mother, my hero and Goddess. She loved me unconditionally and I felt the deepest respect and love for her out of everyone. I realize that such grand Love is what makes me respect a person deeply.