Helping someone is a very individual matter, which depends on the individual at stake, but also on the matter, the case, the problem at hand.

Being of effective help to someone, has a few standards that most of us know, such as standing by them, by for example showing them that they are not wrong in feeling the way they do, and not devaluating their experience ~ their suffering and feelings of the experience they may be going through. …not devaluating their perception, ~ their intelligence.

Most of us also know, that being of effective help, mostly always involves a great deal of listening, without judgements and corrections. Yet sometimes, but usually way into the process, hours or days or weeks into it, those two things do sometimes become important, but require some great skills of empathy ~ the natural and loving sense of psychology, for delivering any correcting critisism in such a respectful, agile and sensitive manner that it be constructive, ~ for it to be adequately heard, taken in, understood and used effectively by the troubled/suffering one. As well it is highly important to notice, that there is a veey fine line between constructive correcting/criticism and blame induction.

Often the adequate missing factor, is solidarity, in the forms of profound compassionate and fearless companionship, through the journey. …much like beeing the shoulder, the hand to hold, the human touch crutches, the strength that the suffering one may not be managing to keep up all the way. We must be aware that words remain mere words and are in fact very poor. …causing alot more inaccuracy all the time, weather we always notice it or not.

Often, the required necessity is to take that someone gently by the hand, and carefully go do what needs to be done.

Being someone who has always been the assisting one, the solving and resolving aid, ~the understanding friend who people come to with anything and everything, and the one who’s help has never failed, I am sharing from all the personal experiences of my life, combined with some of the wisdom, that I have learned and gotten to know allong the way.

My grandMothers lessons gave great examples of such actions, (like taking someone gently by the hand that sometimes being literally and other times a bit more metaphorically, while getting to carefully do what needs to be done) and with great successful results. And besides the results, it profoundly taught me some very important parts of what LOVE truly is made of.

At the same time, looking back, at my grandMother being the one wise person in my upbringing, who made team with me, team against the obstacles, I now see very clear, that those “let’-do-it-together” actions of hers, were what planted the seeds of deep respect every time, and so she became one who could even critisize with care whenever needed, and be carefully heard, and profoudly understood. And so her assistance /her help, ~ her as my team, was the most effective in al ways, each and every time, v cause even if she sometimes didn’t understand the younger generation that I am, her intentions and efforts of caring LOVE, warmed my soul and gave me all the best reasons in the world to go on and be strong. Because of her my faith often moved mountains.

Later in life, years after grandMother had passed, a very mature and genious friend, happened to deliver the same types of solidarity and team spirit of assistance, help and support, and again mountains were moved. It was much as if the avalances of rock I was bureied under were disintergrated with compassionate understanding ~ LOVE. This time it was a very dynamic energy, in comparison to that of my grandMother, but nevertheless there was anyway plenty of ease and calm for long conversations, always letting me thenrichness of agreement, and with that delivering clearer reasons on the table, for why I was experiencing the matters that cause me pain and suffering, without anyof if being anywhere near blaming me at all. …on some occasions it was rather the pointing out, and bringing to my attention, the classic human weaknesses of jealousy, and big egos of spoiled and/or bored people around us. …and that therefore any devaluing behaviours and blaming judgements, became clear, and their worthlessness incredibly obvious.

There are so many effective different examples to learn from, and on that same note it becomes rather obvious, that not everyone has had the life with such experiences, and/or any of the reasons for such experiences to come. …naturally more than bot, leving them rather clueless of these matters.

But, it remains a manipulative statement (made by religions), to say that this life is one of suffering, or rather as they like to put it, that it is for suffering, to then later be in bliss in heaven with God. Thas is twisting and modifying the truth. We are not born into this life to suffer, but it helps, and is therefore a natural part of life, which makes you wiser, because you can not know what something may truly be like, if you have never really experienced it. More often then not, people who haven’t suffered become rather cold to the suffering ones, and tend to make them feel worse and even alianated, which can in high/unending doses, drive a person over the edge, into either madness or suiside, or both. …and one could argue weather suicide is madness as well, or weather it is the last resort sanity, of saving ones soul from too much harm.

Many wise people say, that all we think, say and do, echoes into eternity. But many wise people also say that LOVE is more powerful than anything; meaning can dessolve. override and heal anything. ~which means it can cancel out anything.

To take this matter further into clearing up some factors for helping others, this power of LOVE of course also means, that this is the very reason of the poeers that be, why we need not to hide away from any trouble and suffering, ignore them in selfprotection, but rather, we must deal with them lovigly ~fearlessly, with is the very softening of any troubles and suffering, the very process of LOVE at work, dissolving the bad, so that it can replace it. And above all, we can not rush the process (you can’t hurry love, an old 80’s song goes). Impatience is a lack of LOVE, typically caused by an unhealthy nervous system and/or ignorance. Fid a wise loving way to take a break (at best together) from dealing with the troubles, in order not to harm the process of helping someone. Have some innocent fun, or some relaxing innocent treat, such as a Spa experience or sunny seaside-air holiday or so. Always be lovingly creative.

Always remember, that once any trouble and suffering has been softened enough, then LOVE will always in all ways, dissolve the rest and cancel it all out. So there is no need for those fearful ostrich ways, of hiding from the negative feeling moments and times, ~ no need for harming any helping/healing process by such discrediting and undermining of anyones troubles at all.

Remember that you learn and grow through out it all. …as well as the one you are helping, but typically in each your own ways.

The rewards are plenty, and enrich your existence on multiple levels.

Helping each other is powerful wisdom, empowering LOVE at large in the process, every time. …for without all of that, LOVE remains naive and easily disturbed. …as each one of us have got to grow our LOVE ourselves, but through all different varieties of togetherness.

And like a friend of mine often says, it is a great honor to help someone through their darkest times and troubles. And to that I must add, that selflessly succeeding well in doing so, is the best richness to be proud of in life.

And not to forget to mention, that expecting to get the very same back from the very same people, can of course happen, but is a stupid thing to expect; better is to understand, that what goes around comes around ~what you put out/send out into the world, comes back to you multiplied. All you have to manage to do for yourself, is to have at least as many carefree feeling moments, as trouble feeling moments.