We all go in and out of states of being, where our ego due to suffering enough has swollen.
In those times, when the ego is swollen, we are, roughly speaking, not of love but of selfpitty, which is as useless to everyone, and as selfdestructive to you and your everything, as the feeling of blame.

If you spoil your child or do the opposite of too hard and too cold, the outcomes of both may not be the same, but they both cause the child to create~get into, very self-destructive situations.

Children who were spoiled or the very opposite, are equally in deep shit.
One child’s ego is too big and therefore gets touched the wrong way too easily, so it swells too often.
The other childs ego suffers off and on too much, so it also swells too often.
The result is, that they cause suffering, and that for themselves as well.
No matter how intelligent a child may be, once you spoil something, it’s spoiled, and there is nothing you can do to unspoil it. The child is then lucky if they somehow manage to get inspired to work on themselves, and such “reprogramming” takes time, so even then, a spoiled “child” will very possibly just give up, unless they are of very stubborn nature, with the awareness that the work they do on themselves will actually be not only good for everyone, but that it will be  most beneficial to their own life.

But, for the most part, here’s how a spoiled child, all grown up, deals with a big problem.

The same way that the little old child Version of them would behave when they couldn’t have their wanted way of the moment, in that same way they still feel as adults, only it just is expressed differently, and of course also appears differently to us, but the very same thing is happening, as back when they were kids, only now the person is adult and the situations are of course different as well, then those of when we are small children.

While a spoiled person may be tollarable as long as they’re still small and cute and rather harmless, once they are grown up, they have it hard with friends and social life, because who wants to be a friend with a selfish egoistic person? Surely not the good people, not the wise ones, not the clever ones who live well. …they don’t want to ruin their good-feeling, they don’t want to pollute their lives with such types of people. So the spoiled ones end up having mostly only bad company and stupid friends leading to stupid situations.

Heres a good example…
Since spoiled people are so egoistic that they always create some unpleasant (and unnecessary) drama, and therefore only end up with bad company, and bad company obviously is bad influence, then chances are, that the spoiled “child” will end up doing some bad things, maybe end up in jail, or as most common is, on drugs or alcohol or both. And being the way they are, spoiled, they only get into more (or just different) bad company, and more (or just different) trouble.
And moving about in life a month the lesser of wise people, (troublemakers, prostitutes, criminals, alcoholics and drug users and what have you) is of course also dangerous for a spoiled selfish egoistic person, as such people don’t go about things diplomatically but violently.

And if our spoiled “child”, even just for their very own good, should stop drinking or taking drugs, you can be sure that they will not give a damn what you say, even if you say it in tears of love, and they will of course not want to do the work with their self to stop whatever is destroying them, because they were not taught to take responsibility and be of love. No, now they are facing something not fun, and so they go into that feeling mode of the child sitting on the supermarket floor screaming because they can’t have their way. …and so the adult version of that being with the same/similar feeling, becomes a stubborn type of “I don’t care what you say, I’m doing this anyway!” …weather its harming themselves doesn’t get a chance to matter, just like when they were little kids, then they didn’t know any better, but they got used to behaving like this, and the patterns of this ways of thinking, have become so deeply integrated, as all what we learn as kids becomes deeply integrated, much like we would have installed a program.

One day, when our spoiled “child” is old enough, they will find themselves in a impossible situation, as they have nothing reasonable to live for with only bad company causing them complications, and so the drugs or the drinking or both, will more than likely take over sooner or later. And so it’s not nessesarily addiction they are facing, but in any case they are facing loneliness.

So instead of straightening up “to fly right” they will do the spoiled child thing and just exaggerate the consumption instead, just as they would any other situation when they were a little child.
Yeah it sounds life threatening, and it is. An overgrown ego in a situation like that, will just succumb to selfpitty instead of taking responsibility.
They literally do not even think of the ones who really truly love them, no matter how much time and energy they have ever sacrificed on being there for them, a spoiled child just cant get enough of feeding their ego.

They don’t want to understand that ego, is cutting them off from not only all the best of life, including real love, but also cutting them off from their own powers, from their own self.
They are still under the impression that their manipulating skills and selfish ways outsmart the world around them. They have no clue of all what they are loosing, destroying and throwing away by the acts of their ego.

Even the few who do really love him or her, even those they don’t really care about, as they haven’t learned to really feel for others, other than superficially /on the surface they may really feel love for them as well, but they are stuck with the program of a spoiled child, so they never think of even the one/s who truly loves them, no matter how good they may be, no matter how good they have been of influence always, the spoiled “child” has the subconscious “programmes” on autopilot, just like everyone else has their learned “programs” as  automated traits in their ways of perceiving, bahaving, reacting and responding, etc.
And all though we can become conscious of these so called programmes, and gradually change them, it takes time and effort, which spoiled children are not used to

The word poiled (in English language) means ruined, it means destroyed. So yeah only stupidity in people make them ruin and destroy their own child.

Spoiled people always cause bad things in our world, mostly in form of fights and other drama, causing more hurting, pain and suffering in our world.

Generally spoiled people are a burden everywhere they go, so mostly to themselves, who they obviously can’t escape from.

To a spoiled person, love is in sweet talking, in kisses hugs and cuddles. Whereas wise people know that love is a selfless unconditional thing, otherwise it isn’t love. And that while everything is alright, it’s hard to know, it’s almost impossible to know who loves, untill there’s trouble, then you see and feel who loves.

A person of more love than ego, will also be more able to get out of bad things because of the love they feel for the people they care about. They above all don’t want to hurt them, and are able to shift into the feeling that they do the right thing for the one/s they love, when they can’t do the right thing out of love for themselves.

If you are spoiling a child, PLEASE STOP, it’s not only making them weak, as if you are actually poisoning them, but also, you are creating a monster …into our world, ~ you’re adding more bad sht to the world.

If you’re a spoiled “child”, it’s not all hopeless. Not at all.

First of all the ones who love you are just WAITING!..for you to ask for their support!

You can save yourself right now, and by doing that you save everyone else you love from pain and suffering as well.

All you generally have to do from now on, is to practice loving others. For example think about your friend, or other loved one first before yourself in any case, what do they feel, how is it to be that person, feel with them, and through that you will find that you can think better for them they they can for themselves, … when you’re shopping you can practice it also for yourself, by recognising what stuff they would love.
And by such acts, eventually, gradually, your scales reballace, as you’re get used to selflessly loving.

You know the people who love you unconditionally, so you know what they like, what makes them feel good in some way, and by that you can practice to do selfless things. …instead of only doing something good because you yourself want to achieve something through it. Refrain from such behaviour, unless you’re dealing with business and career perhaps.
* Don’t do any more things in private matters, where your good deed or gesture is 50% selfish or so.
Trust the truth that it is in fact not only poisoning your relationships but most of all its poisoning your own personal World. Eventually one day you will see quite clearly how so that is, and then you will be so grateful that you believed in the good, even though you could not clearly see it then.