Personally in feel something like, I just wanna get out, similar to the saying “Stop the planet i wanna get off!” …so maybe the title here really should have been;

“SmilaZ Today! More Far Out Than Yesterday”

It surely is too short to even call it a sentence, but it’s not the length that sets the value nor even the richness of the content. Am I right guys!?

Okay that joke was really not my style, but sometime you learn really weird things out there in the this world. Tss-haha…

Though in this case, ‘Dream Realistically’, come on! It does sound too boring to even make real sense in its own context; Dream Realistically. What for nonsense that is! There’s no such thing even really, since dreaming tends to be the very opposite to anything realistic. What would make sense to express exactly that which it obviously wants to convey is rather almost the opposite; Think Realistically. Or I could even be kind and stretch out a bit, be more open and make it into ‘Create Realistically’. But that is really just being large about it, because realistic has nothing to do with dreaming.

No actually the right thing to say to convey the message more perfectly, would be ‘Create From Your Inspirations, But Realistically’. Or let’s shorten it and make that be ‘Use Your Inspirations Realistically’.

Nevermind that humans as such seem to not even know what really is realistic! Throughout history humans have proved again and again, that this is a thing of general human character. For if they did know what is Realistic, then they wouldn’t be ridiculing things, but rather they’d be able to comprehend a fact of reality, from the very first time they hear of it, and not have to hear it at least three times before any of their inner bells start ringing louder than their own ridiculing nonsense. Many scientists have had this wonderful experience of being ridiculed by absolute fools amongst each other. And just as much as it doesn’t matter, just as much chocking is it to experience, because of the ‘freakyFact’ that it is a lesson about your own damn species! Neurologically speaking, a profound feeling shocking experience something existential is a micro trauma. And it is as well these kinds of things that lead to anxiety and depression in our world.

And really if you think about it now, you’d have to be a fearful little fckr, completely without any wisdom whatsoever, to start ridiculing something unknown to you, rather then curiously begin to investigate it, or at the very least just be for real and let it remind you that you can’t possibly really know!

I am not any old all knowing one, I’m no being of all the great grand wisdom, but neither am I someone without any knowledge and wisdom. And neither is it any smooth and easy, pain-free journey to particularly wisdom. Even to just Some bit of wisdom. And even if you achieve to grow some wisdom within your being, it does not mean that you’re now safe from being stupid all the way through the rest of your journey.

The best version of me, that I ever got to experience was whenever I was feeling the safest, in all the average ways one can come to feel safe in this life/in this world; for me it was being that kind of rich, which allowed me to not have to work for a living (but follow my hearts passion), being surrounded by comfort, safe and sound, and being so to say out of reach of any low level beings, asshole etc.

At only 24 years of age, I found it very surprising that unlike all others I’ve personally known, being living Abundant in richness did not give me any ego trips or any such things at all. Instead I experienced a whole different sense of me. I felt as if the safety took all burdens of my shoulders, and it made me feel more like me again, having all the time in the world, not feeling obliged to put up with anyone’s egotrips, and instead having all the inner peace and love to remain in harmony, and just feel completely free by it all, to be able to listen more and be of better support quality, even of better company quality. I was feeling almost overwhelmed by the surprise of how much of love I was feeling to everyone. Especially because I always care!, and I’m always of love (ecxept when I’m really sad or fighting sadness with anger). But I’ve been there two times in my life, and both times, the best way I was able to describe how I felt in the safe feeling rich level of life (where one works not to survive but out of pure passionate interest) was to my own understanding to be feeling rather more like the all loving Jesus or like the smiling Buddha. Nothing could make me angry. Even what we call the buttons that some of the ones who know you well tend to push, even those turned out not to really exist at all. Nothing was able to stir me out of my center.

I was amazed with myself by the experiences of these times, That of course being from contrast to everyone else I’ve ever known, who became rich so to say. While it seems to make anybody become a egotripping person spoiled rotten, it all makes me feel of love for all, rather.

I wonder if that’s just due to the lack of wisdom in people, which if you have wisdom, then you also know what love is, because the wisdom connects with your being through love. Meaning that without love there is no wisdom you can achieve, when wisdom is of love itself.

Well, in general, the world does seem more loveless to me than Of love, so I guess it makes perfect sense, that most people don’t have what it takes to be given the responsibility of richness.

Outside of those rich times. I guess if the world was more caring and honest than that of the opposite, then nothing could ever go so wrong for someone like me. I’ve always been good to people, and I’ve always been standing up for what’s right. I’ve even always dared to be the only one alone, to be pointing out what’s severely wrong, and in that experiencing how others are afraid and hold back, how they’re always waiting untill it looks safe, before they finally also begin joining in one by one. And I have so many ideas, all the time, and most of them are quite thorough, out of the ordinary and even good. But none of them came out of approaching dreaming realistically, but rather out of dreaming more limitlessly. So basically it’s both as classic a cliché as it is unbelievable, how I could ever be in such an impossible situation as I am now.

But to try to dream realistically, is a very stupid idea, no matter what. You might as well just say (and thereby even be more accurate -by not using the word ‘dreaming’), “Go find something that’s already created!” I mean it should also be so obvious, that if people like Nikola Tesla, or those of today, like Richard Branson or Steve Jobs and whoever have you, if they would have been trying to dream realistically, then we would never even have known of them, because that’s not how you create something new.

You will never invent a thing, nor create anything new if you dream realistically! That’s only how you become a copy of a copied copy.

I should know, or atleast have a clue. I’ve been following my heart my whole life. …rather helplessly even! Because it was always obvious to me, that all the people that came before me, have been severely fooled. I’ve learned and discovered more than I could have imagined. I’ve grown way beyond my wildest dreams, and I don’t think I’ve ever met anyone who has grown that much in one life time, and it’s not even over yet.

I’ve learned that the masses of people never really grow up. Obviously because they’re not taught any wisdom, but are instead fooled with schools designed for a hamster wheel life, leaving them with a kind of backdrop people existence of chasing illusions.

I know that this planet is not a waiting room to go to neither heaven nor hell. And I’ve listened to all the people I could find, who have died and returned to their body and gone on living feeling all changed by that experience. I’ve listened to the ones that started out as disbelievers, but then had some experiences that woke them up to what’s real, so that they devoted their life to studying death. My own mother passed on only 25 years old, while I was 16 months old. And what people describe as the achieved meditative state, I was somehow going in an out of that state all the way throuout nursery school and into kindergarten. And it took no efforts, it was happening naturally. Yet the adults around me didn’t understand. Instead they thought there was something wrong with me, and blamed it on having lost my mother. But to my awareness I hadn’t lost anything, I was connected to the safe ralm, a peaceful comfortable nothingness within which I’d float weightless and thoughtless, always feeling the most relaxed and content. I remember that it was like living with two realities. And this one out here that we all seem to know, this was always the disturbing one.

Eventually, as my mother had passed on, my grandmother came from Denmark to support my father (yes, eventually as I was older I got to know the more full story of what was going on around me in those years), and after three months she managed to get the unique permission to take me with her to Copenhagen, out of Karlovy Vary. So now I was living in three different worlds, traveling back and forth, according to the visa validity-duration, every three months. But now I was receiving a real human connection, within this earthly ralm of existence that everyone seems to know. Now I suddenly had that motherly connection to this life, and I guess that must have been what drew me more out into this eartly side of life.

As a young adult the days came where I just couldn’t keep playing allong with the disappointing adult world, fom which I had expected to be faced with lost of wisdom to live up to. So the days came, where I just couldn’t go on making excuses to myself for the entire stupid adult world. The days came, where I could not go on pretending anymore, that everything including the prescribed lives invented by those who came before me should all be right and sane. At this point it looked and felt much like industrial caddle-life, and I had to escape it. I remember feeling like, “What’s wrong with everyone?, don’t they see it?, that there’s a whole world out there to discover, while it’s clear on our families that they don’t even really know it, this world we live in!?, this planet we live on! Well I have to go out there to actually really know where I am here!

And Surely all what happened from there is a whole adventure story for another time. But one thing I can tell for sure, is that humanity has been fooled about too many things, and that for example, the famous paradise everyone has heard of, it’s right here, it is this planet itself. The after life is rather more a case of merging back into the nonphysical, which you then begin to remember, and people say it feels more like home than any home, and that all and it all feels of unconditional love, pure and beyond megalithic, consistent and constant like no other feeling of love. And while those feelings are a perfect match to how paradise should feel, it is heaven, and not paradise.

Paradise is this garden planet, but which you can hardly recognise for all the iron and concrete “jungles” that humans are brought up to live in.

Nevermind all the so-called lost knowledge, destroyed stone tablets, burned books, and all the inaccessible knowledge that is left but locked away from mankind.

But following your heart in a world of lost people, it’s been just as terrible as it’s been beautiful. Because a young heart is naive and therefore it has been filled all to easy with enough illusions. But taking on a globetrotter life, you will inevitably keep meeting aspects and sides of yourself, that you otherwise never would in the monotone of the so called normal lives, which I preffer to call the small local lives. There obviously can’t be everything of all the world, within just one city or town sized area. And neither will you be free of whatever fixed roles you’ve grown into there. And being alone out there puts you through what later looks like tests, which are situations you otherwise wouldn’t encounter, situation within which you have to do whatever you can, which then will often bring you surprises about you. Of course those surprises can be either good or bad. My surprises were by far so many good ones, that the few bad ones really stand out, just displaying a younger me, who had grown a protective shell and believer that if it’s hard, then it means you’re on the right way, because good things don’t come easy. And right there we have a nother old lie!

Thr truth is, good things do come easy, and wishes do fulfill. It truly is all about how you feel. Amd we feel perfectly in accordance to what we believe. And what we believe, comes out of what we have been taught. And what we have been taught includes experiences, from which we learn as well. And too much of all such things are either wrong and /or bad. Though if you stay living in the same familiar zones where you grew up, you will never be faced with enough difference for enough contrasts, and get to live all the unexpected stories to go with all that contrasting.

Learning by doing is the best way of schooling. Looking back, I wonder, perhaps schooling is not the right thing at all. Perhaps schooling is not honest learning at all.

One thing surely is obvious to me, as it was already by the end of my teens; that the more schooling people get, the more boxed in their minds become. The more limited and the less fantasy full their creativity, and the more narrow their sight. All in all finally even their perfect sight becomes blind to many things. They become rigid, and their lives stagnant. Then they go on living the prescribed small local lives, doing what everybody else does. …which immediately makes me thing of avalanches of things. Let’s take Halloween for example! Utterly meaningless and empty compliance to self-entertainment. As if I would ever wanna Enter any Tainment to begin with! The Germanic and Scandinavian languages say it so well, as in their languages, entertainment is called unterhaltung, which literally consists of two words that translate into both “underkeeping” and /or “underholding”, the first one fitting the German word most accurately, and the second one fitting the Scandinavian word most accurately. And no matter what anyone thinks and feels about it, it serves to do exactly that which those words say.

And while this boring human civilisation of prescribed stagnant lives has been developing within its controlled frames, for some thousands of years (and way beyond), of course it all fits together like hand in glove. Of course ones you’re been made to feel normal about, and fitting with, the human versions of cattle-stock – like life styles, then more “underkeeping” of entertainment only feels like a good match to relax for you.

Basically all the brilliant things that free dreaming minds come up with, as soon as any of it turns into being a thing that so to say everybody likes, then the ruling tyranny from above buys it, or atleast infiltrates thoroughly into whatever it is, because they have the obsession to controll everything down to every detail.

Everything is turned against humanity, even their most private their most intimate. Even their thoughts are not entirely their own. And while of course in all that even free will is a manipulated one, everything that becomes industrialised turns into an unhealthy version of its original version, yet even the most intimate aspects of man have been industrialised. Yes the foods of humans are depleted of nutrition amd vitamins, as they’re grown without soil and all the natural components, even the sex of humans has been industrialised. Even love as well. Nothing has its pure original healthy life. Nothing is what it naturally is supposed to be.

And I hate the industrialised versions of especially love food and sex. Those are three holy things. Or three sactet things. Or three divine things of nature’s gifts of abundance.

So now, after 2020, now more than ever do I want to leave the masses. Now I wonder how come I didn’t stick with the millionaire level of life. ….surely I did have the best of reasons for my choices, but I could actually have thought it all through a whole lot more, and the i could actually have come up with creative ideas for ways to implement my ways, with which I could have gradually organized things to the point where it would all be re-created by now, to have my own sane and independent personal little world above the fuss of the masses, who just keep messing around as if they were half blind and half deaf. At least, above the masses there’s much less people to deal with, and all the fuss they make is partly (because of them being a minority), very easy to steer clear of.

But I really didn’t believe that any third world war kind of thing would happen already, so fast, again, to be in my lifetime!

So now I’m sitting here, with an email to a billionaire (of course I keep anything further about the very person anonymous), but the idea to write an email just seems too silly. We’ve only ever met once, and I was only there as a friend of the one he was so very interested in. So who am I to now just send a message and think that will establish any good connection!?

Sitting here in the mids of the masses, while they are overflowing with insanity, from their half blind and half deaf being. Even now when everything is more extreme than ever and all the lies are more obvious than ever, I still don’t see them doing the right things. And so, … It feels like the silence before the storm! And I wanna get out once and for all.

Of course I dream outside the known, outside the average, ~ outside the realistic. Dreaming within frames is obviously not really dreaming at all.

And of course I dream sensibly within what seems unrealistic to the masses, just like flying once seemed unrealistic to them. Of course I imagine to have the chances of using my wisdom to make something good out of whatever I might find on my way. Of course I never stopped dreaming that I make my way up to a good safe-as-can-be level, and that I’ll create something of my own, which will then somehow allow me to lift up at least the few most precious hearts that I’ve gotten to know on my way and come to appreciate so dearly. Of course I know some people out there with whom everything feels more like paradise. …even when going through what seems like hell, we’d be in our own ralm of love, laughing all the way.

The only thing that has me feeling like I should think about how I could make contact to this bilionaire, is that I know from all my growing in this lifetime, and from all the reflections of others, that I am that kind who has always gone out of my way to be there for other, to help and support, which I have always been so good at. I know that grandMother taught me well, and that she was the perfect example of unconditional love, for me have been able to recognised the false from the real, the good from the bad, and lived by it. I know that within my life and everyone in it, it’s always been me who was of good influence to my surrounfings.

And even though I’ve always been the one people would come to, with their problems, their broken hearts and their big questions to life, no one was able to be there for me whenever I finally fell on my butt and broke down.

So I know that I am worth all good ideas of betterment, and even being saved. But a half stranger will not know that!, and might not have the factors of perception to be able to see that in me. Everyone has some different components in their perception, so that they will see different people differently than others will. And also, some people we connect perfectly with just naturally, while with others we just don’t.

It seems totally stupid, all this. But I also see that it’s also totally stupid to not even try. From my position of having lost my family to their passing, and all the mistakes my dad made out of kindness mixed with sadness, leaving everything to his manipulating girlfriends, while he naively thought I was finally safe now that I had come by for the first time ever with a boyfriend. And yea he seemed very responsible, serious and stable, but things don’t always turn out to be what they seem. And so I discovered one of the biggest egos underneath the surface of that man, and learned that once some trouble appeared, this man of mine did not even have one insh of empathy for anything that wasn’t just pleasant or easy-peasy. Amd so he left me with nothing at all. Nothing at all, nothing to even just make something out of. Even though he was the first and only man I ever really gave myself fully to. Even though I intended to stand by him to the end, no matter how things would turn out later down the road with us, he obviously never thought anything even close to any such loyal and good intention.

So here I am, back with the masses, like some used and abused fool, left with nothing, at a time there the world seems to be going more insane than ever.

Being in such a position, I can’t even be my best! The circumstances just don’t allow it. And none of that is what I wanna convey, in making contact with someone who doesn’t even know me.

It’s funny how it makes me reflect and ponder! But, …

How can I not waste this tiny opportunity, to get to a better place amd be somewhat safe throughout all this global madness!?

I don’t know what I myself could possibly even say to give someone a good authentic impression of who and how I am. I mean it’s totally beyond me, how any one person could possibly ever describe themselves honestly, as accurately as possible, without sounding either self-righteous or self bashing, or both.