My invisible friend, I hereby make you my channel, my connection, my source to the Ether/God/The Highest Of Love/The All Knowing.

No matter what I write here, from now on, I know you are my witness.

Take good care of my grandMother. She taught me love and I have been taking care of it and it has grown well and it’s still growing.

Though here I’m not happy, and none of this here is doing me any good, but quite the contrary, it’s destructive to my feeling of life and living. And on top of everything, I never had as much eczema as I seem to always get here. I shouldn’t be stressed here! I didn’t even really have much any eczema when I first came here. Same after this summer, nothing at all. And then two weeks later of being back here, hello, Greetings from eczema land.

Since previous January I got stuck, and then later that year 2020, of course I got really stuck, and even ran totally out of money!
            I’m booming and sometimes even beaming with especially business ideas of all sorts. Good, usefull ideas. But what good is any of this skill at all, without the funds, or at least the knowhow about the practical side of making things happen from zero, just getting things done rehardless. I only have that once in some blue moonor whatever moon.

I even have ideas about how to effectively help lovely people I know, who don’t have much to move with. And I’ve always been the problem solver, and the one people come to with their problems and big life-questions.
       But I’ve never been good at taking the overview when I’m the one down in the valley. Yet nobody has ever been there understanding me, helped me up or pulled me up at all. At the max I’ve had little help sometimes in life that was enrichening to my heart, in ways that gave me the extraordinary energy to really live. Usually those were somewhat genius people.

The only one who ever understood so much so easy and so well, and even often better than me, was an older man named Joel Licciardi. Nothing but Love from this being. And it does give you that really living life energy, what makes you unstoppable and powerful.

I can be nonstop creative around someone like that. I’m best when I feel there is others of love besides myself in this world, by just knowing it because there is atleast one living with me. Weather a female friend, a best friend or a boyfriend, whichever it may be. I noticed that when I have Love, I don’t need a sexual partner that much really. It turns me off that so many men think that love comes through the sex, as if sex should should be love itself. To me sex is then  rather more accessory’like if anything.

I’ve had relationships, but I haven’t had that close connection since 2008. Something dark and lonely soldier happened to me there!? Help!