OBJECTIVELY, I MUST SEE, LOOK THROUGH THE WISDOM OF MY HEART & SOUL, I THE ANALYTICAL ONE WHO WAS BORN FEELING OLD.

HELPING, SOLVING, FEELING WITH THEIR EMOTIONS, AND SORTING, OH I WAS SO KEEN, I LEARNED SO MUCH AS A CHILD AND AS A TEEN.

THOUGH HERE I STAND AND YET AGAIN, I’M ALWAYS THE FREAKIN ALIEN.

In the first half a year, it appeared as though it could be, because in general we know it could be, that someone would come ones way when we need them, to naturally by being just who they’re at our side, just will be keeping us stronger, seemingly without even trying. …so that as we partly thanks to them, have made it out and gotten up and done well, then they remain part of our lives, and get to reep the benefits of when you’re in your best and at your best and you are your best, feeling all this endless capacity and generosity, this endless compassion and willingness. For some it’s a “Feelin notn’ buď love for ya’!” kind of thing, feeling as if you actually have some ongoing stream of very calm and willing love for everyone, yourself included.

And then I know myself. So I know I wouldn’t even wanna miss out on meeting a stranger of that kind.

But you treat me as if you don’t know me, which I guess you actually don’t, when you treat me so, that I better not even try telling anybody! As if I was …not even just anybody, but as if I was …even worse than just a random anybody.

But yeah, there are so many more sides to things than just two; Meanwhile, throughout everything, we can do many good/nice things for any person, but the moment we do something bad to them, it just as if cancels the good out, and it does.

We are free/fully responsible in any moment to decide that for ourselves, weather consciously or not.

But sometimes we are drowning in a case of suffering self, for enough days, or weeks, or even month and beyond, which is in any way, …shape or even duration, still, a suffering ego. And as the ego is ill with its fever and a bit swollen, we feel even worse, so we keep ending on our autopilot behaviour, not very conscious. But the funny thing is, we still make desisions….weather those are to be reactive or behave however, or go and do or be wherever. And if thoughtlessly, then you’re even more responsible for it. As its the ego taking you over. Any bad feeling moment inside oneself, if not of a survival status, then it is a pure ego coming into matter.

Who brings the drug to the junkie without charging untill the day they know you have a severe problem with it!?

It’s so bad to have a girlfriend in your space all the time, if she’s monitoring your every move, moving around your favorite things, being jealous and forbidding you things, and so on of all such crap.

Everyone would want someone in their life who let’s them be free, as well to be who they are, who even encourages you to get more exited and motivated, to get some ambition feeling, for the life of life, while keeping your place a bit orderly and washing all the clothes and dishes most of the time, who you can both talk to or choose not to mind each other at all.

To have a such someone, wow…and if the same person would also be that one who is just waiting around for my sweetness, for me to brew up a cozyfeeling sweetness with some candles to it I stead of TV. …tjah, who doesn’t want that at the end of the day!?

On the other hand, if anyone was to ask me to search the bright side (just so I don’t complain in germamy), the first thing that comes to mind is, how useful it is to have a proper conversation about a current constantly present issue/situation/constellation “thing”, and in togetherness have concluded that we’re facing a few months of this “thing”, so that then when I see over and over again how you still keep making it an issue from any angle, then I have the chance to be aware of what it can be like to be in a team with you. And then, what if we should ever face some real trouble!?, and what if the period of the trouble was an extended period of time!?, would we then have to suffer like this or worse all the time?

The Devil Laughed Out Loud & Said

Like the irony of life, ego, it creeps up under the skin of any loving kind person, as long as they have any hangups and bad childhood lessons to distort their perception of reality’s neutral canvas that is gifted to you each day, and as many times as you want.