SOMETIMES WHAT YOU GET OUT OF A PERSON IS WHAT YOU ARE MAKING OUT OF THAT PERSON, WEATHER IT’S YOUR THOUGHTS OR BEHAVIOUR, CONSCIOUS OR UNCONSCIOUS.

Actually whenever I’ve stopped and observed myself this past month, I have not liked what I’ve seen. And in fact to be honest, it’s worse than any other times. I was about to say worse than in Greenhouse Berlin, but no, its even too different to measure like that, I’ve just been finding myself getting extreme on some points because there on top of whatever else, also isn’t any social anything absorbing my attention, which usually distract just enough to keep me functioning. …I mostly always  have either company or just people around. It’s actually a good thing to get used to functioning weather you share a space most of your time or not. But in the long run it’s always been easier with my best friends, than with a boyfriend.

But I don’t like what I’ve been observing here, nor what I’ve been feeling here. I’ve been hanging in hiding from the world, sleeping late right before sunrise, waking up at 3pm getting no daylight for a month, and for days in the same clothes for without even a shower.

We are so similar with our sensitivity and empty ways of being, yet aparently you don’t know (or don’t care enough), yet I know that in your shoes I would be aware of how to influence that in nearly anyone. I would without even thinking of doing it find ideas, to sneak better feeling energies into a person like that. And I would unlike you, refrain from adding any inch more of anything on their shoulders. …not even a hint of complaint.

You are getting what you’re making out of me.