A tiny moment from the whole SAILING FILM
(drama/psycho-thriller)
“STÜCK WITH THE DEVIL IN PARADISE”
And while that sounds like the state of the entire world these days… Nothing is permanent and everything is always possible, no matter what. So you choose! But anyhow, …
I already know now, THAT, THIS IS THE BEST OF ALL MY ⛵MEMORIES … and I did already also suspect that as I was making it, …actually as I’m now rewinding in my memory!, I knew that if I could make it a seemingly ok imitation-video, purely just to honor my MEMORY of my first dancing all alone on the deck of the ship, which was IN THE MOONLIGHT WITH MY SHADOW, before going to sleep, as a desperate attempt to feel better from all my sailing team-mate’s psychological theorising, vulgar behaviour … well all together just the most disturbing most mean to even evil company I’ve ever known (happened to be stuck with), so I just let myself follow a good feeling of this song, since I know music alters your feeling so effectively. So I felt to just do as I Feel, which was dancing to this song now, that I had playing into my head from my headphones. And the only non-squeaky space for it, to not wake up my sailing mate, was up on deck. …well I knew already that this might be the best memory of it all.
To go on shore earlier that evening, I had put on the only clean long pants I had left, which were a pair of baggy Indian looking /belly dancer looking pair, that I had bought at the beginning of this part two sailing summer in chania/xania on the western side of the noth coast of Kriti/Creete in Greece, and so I was still wearing these pants, with a very thin ~rather transparent tanktop that I normally like to sleep in, while over that I had an opened off-white short fluffy sweater with very puffy sleeves and 3 big’ish black and white diamonds-looking buttons. I must have been the perfect amusement for the moon, in the perfect yet purely authentic ~innocent and unplaned costume for this spectacle happening on the top on lady MORAG STAR herself as my very stage. …with the moon as my only light, giving me the gift of my own shadow so very sharp as my only company….with whom I danced in the silent black world, while inside my head this very song was loud and moving me in all ways.
After a few minutes of dancing I was feeling better like magic, and as time went by with me helplessly playing the song again and a again while wondering when I’d stop feeling to keep hearing it and flowing with it, I started feeling the being of the magic so to say, as though now I was the feeling magic and by that the very magic feeling itself. It made me feel like a spell was being cast, like I was casting a spell over myself and my environment. It simply felt good and powerful.
As I eventually finished I swore to myself, or rather I just felt it deep inside, that I was going to do that as the first thing in the morning with my teacup, before he usually gets up, which is after 9am. So I set my alarm, but woke up and looked at the clock before the alarm went off, got up to my conviction that I had to do this dancing again, to increase those good feelings, to start the day with this empowerment. So I raised to the promise of magical feelings for a better day, brushed my teeth and washed my face, made my tea and up there I was, again with me headphones on, repeating the same song … eventually followed by repeating Tash Sultana’s Jungle song as well, till eventually I let some of the following songs play while skipping others.
Again I felt and now in a refreshed revived way from the whole visual around me, this time in daylight, and again it started feeling like magic till once again it felt like the casting of a good spell of love for harmony for myself and my environment. This time I included the thoughts of friends, with the intention of bettering whatever their different situations are.
The more crazy feeling amplifier then became, that the man, my sailing team-mate, was all rather quiet all day, not saying much in some ways as if avoiding to say anything wrong, avoiding his misbehaving/his being constantly criticising and theorising, often topped with being vulgar.
It was simply incredible how normal the atmosphere felt with him on this very day, like some figment of my imagination. I felt I was able to rest in my own self a bit, begin to lean-back-gently into being myself. It turned into one ful normal day with him, and in the eving I noticed a few times how paranoid I felt of him, how much I was used to his daily (and increasing) toxic behaviour towards me. So this day really was amazingly normal feeling good. And so as he eventually had a delayed nap in the afteroon whilst clouds where gathering, I sat alone and realised I had to make an imitation of my magic feeling dance event, and so without music I recorded a couple of dancing bits while just thinking of the song, to then put together with that very song in my video editor, … just to make a visual reminder of that moonlight dancing I had felt so moved to get up and do.
And OH wow … my god HOLY Sht by the way! And this was on the very island ZAKYNTHOS!!!, where I …oh wow I’m just REALISING NOW!
…AS I’M WRITING THIS POST!?….wow,..
this was the first place I ever went for a 1months DANCING CONTRACT, my very first dancing job abroad. Wow that can’t just be coincidence! Especially since similar things regarding other stuff from my life seemed to be wrapping up in such ways like that, during those last days of this so called nightmare in paradise.
Back in those days on Zakynthos, I was 21 and had no idea yet, that this show dancing job was gonna turn out to be the key to living my conviction of traveling the world. …instead of becoming a damn lawyer, (which I at that time and maybe I still think it is) one of the best choices of all the occupations prescribed for living your life. But let’s not get into that now. …perhaps some other time! This is about how I felt so bad that I played some of the best feeling music I had on my phone for those moments in that very environment.
But what a nice round up. Beautiful symbolic.
(those two songs; ⚓ 1- JUNGLE by Tash Sultana, and 2- Mawlaya by Maher Zain 😉… I even see a perfectplot for film making (but ok my imagination and creativity are like best friends who are unstoppable together))
The Spell-Dance Video:
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