She was 8 and I was 9. We were both in the after-school place. I was still pretty new there, but playing with playmobile stuff with some unmemorable-to-me friend, and we had pretty much just begun, as Ann-Carina arrived with a girlfriend who was asking us, if they could play along. We both accepted the two foreign girls, but after a while my friend wanted to go outside.

I remember the connection in silence as Ann-Carina and I are faced with the question to go with each our friend. I remember feeling that I’m happy here for now, and I looked up at Ann-Carina leaving it up to her, but with the feeling that I wanted her to stay, and her friend also agreed they should also go out. But to my relief Ann-Carina also preffered to stay.

When we’d hang out i front of her moms garden, she’d always be writing on the wide sidewalk bricks going across the grass. Usually her own name, or occasionally someone’s. I started hoping she’d write my ne with hers. And eventually one day she did and I remember feeling inside as though it let’s say sealed or confirmed our fliendship, ~ basically that she loved me.

And all though we used to fight nearly every day, so that even the caretakers started ignoring it, we had a natural (pure child) love between us, and whenever we would look in each others eyes for more than two seconds, then we would both always helplessly burst into laughing.

My analytical nature is convinced that helpless laughter was the expression of how good those two little girls felt together, happy in this connection they feel together. Basically two children experiencing a natural bonding connection, experiencing the feeling pure unconditional love together. Unconditional because children at that age just want to play ~ just be together.

The side of us humans that she represents in my feeling, she also made me ready for, which was good for my facing the rest of my world around me, and then as well into my mega revival of being a traveler, by becoming a globetrotter since age 20. I became generally alot stronger in world because of this mean training camp she got me into with her in our friendship.

In boarding school we began fighting less. And we finally stopped physical fighting, with the girly hairpulling.

As teenagers it was a bit up and down. Later through her wild years there was some reality show types of extreme drama times. Of which one is now absolutely hilarious though. And of course the older we’ve been getting the less of any such crap.

Ann-Carina became my sister in this life time where I otherwise was living alone with my father, and she with her mother, yet still we had to see the old movie called “parent trap” before we ever thought of putting them together, which then anyway didn’t last. We’ve lasted together because our togetherness is sort of healing, even sleeping next to each other has some calming and antidepressive effect.

We’ve lasted a lifetime because of the ways in which we connect and become more whole-feeling. Together we are stronger in all ways, and even a bit happier.

Surely we can do everything and anything we want together. But will she ever wake up to be of love rather then living out of ego as a general basis.

It’s not good, not respectful nor serious towards me or her owns self respect, to for example say you will call and then you don’t.
It’s not reliable to speak of ideas for plans, and then not be reachable for days.
All gives an uncomfortable unsure and unsafe feeling. Nothing solid can be built from such an insecure feeling state.

It saddens me so, to waste time away, since you can not go back and life it fully if it was wasted.
We can only take it from here making sure no more time will be wasted, intend for things to gradually be better then they’ve ever been.

And on further thought, exactly the same for our togetherness also.
Thank you.

Knowing the human design makes me want to say, I wanna come connect all our autas, and define our human design centers with you!, finally this time, make good use of this factor of ours wisely. Both!, be constructively creative. Let even our silliness be with us on this path, with all intentions fueled by our love for each other and seeing the other one getting up getting well and ahead being the best that we can (find inspiration in them to) see them as.

Together.

Make it happen This time and simply succeeded.

She has put herself through alot for nothing. And I have suffered enough as well. It’s time for deep respect of unconditional love, ~ in order for us to heal and rise. Since we know we can do anything we want together. So all we have to do is play alot, experiment, catch our togetherness, choose what feels best for us to do amd then stand by it through thick and thin. No fear. Always help each other to have no fear.